She Leads Confidently
#124 From Pain to Power: Why I wrote the Book
In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of Blue Rose Bookstore: Sanctuary for Your Soul, sharing the deeply personal story of how and why this book came to life. I reveal the genesis of the idea, tracing it back to 2018, when I felt called to write something that could truly inspire and help others who, like me, have felt stuck, lost, or uncertain about their future. This book was born out of my own journey of self-discovery and healing, and it reflects the resilience, courage, and transformation I’ve experienced along the way.
I also open up about the challenges I faced during the writing process—the doubts, fears, and moments of vulnerability that often accompany creating something so personal. But it was in those struggles that I found the core message of this book: that turning pain into power is not only possible but transformative.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of what Blue Rose Bookstore means to me and what I hope it will mean to you. If you’ve ever wondered how to rewrite your story, reclaim your power, and step into the life you were meant to live, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear the vision behind the book and discover how it can be a sanctuary for your soul.
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Epi 123 Busyness and Trauma
In this episode, we’re going to dive into something that I know will resonate with many of you, especially if you’re someone who’s always on the go, always juggling a million things at once: the idea of “Busyness as a Trauma Response.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. We live in a world where being busy is often seen as a sign of productivity and success. How many times have you heard someone say, “Oh, I’m just so busy,” almost like it’s a badge of honor? It’s like we’re competing to see who can cram the most into their day, as if that somehow makes us more accomplished, more valuable.
But here’s the thing: What if this constant drive to stay busy isn’t really about getting things done or achieving our goals? What if, deep down, it’s a way to avoid confronting something much more uncomfortable? Something like unresolved trauma that we’ve been carrying around, sometimes for years, without even realizing it.
Think about it. When was the last time you sat still and did nothing? I mean, did nothing—no phone, no TV, no to-do list running through your mind. For many of us, the thought of being still, of not being busy, is almost terrifying. It’s like we’re afraid that if we stop moving, stop doing, all the emotions and memories we’ve been trying to keep at bay will come rushing in.
In this episode, we’re going to explore the psychology behind using busyness as a coping mechanism. We’ll talk about how past experiences, especially traumatic ones, can drive us to fill every moment of our lives with activity. Because let’s face it, when we’re constantly on the go, we don’t have time to sit with our thoughts, our feelings, or our memories. We don’t have time to process what’s going on inside.
And while staying busy might seem like a good short-term solution, there are hidden costs to this behavior. Costs that show up in our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Maybe it’s that persistent feeling of anxiety or that sense of being overwhelmed that you just can’t shake. Or maybe it’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that something isn’t quite right, even when everything on the surface seems fine.
But here’s the good news: We’re not just going to talk about the problem. I’m also going to share some practical strategies to help you recognize when busyness is becoming detrimental and offer tips on how to break free from this cycle. Because the truth is, you don’t have to live in a constant state of busyness. You don’t have to keep running from one thing to the next, hoping that if you just stay busy enough, you won’t have to face what’s going on.
Whether you’re a business leader, an entrepreneur, or someone who simply finds themselves constantly on the go, this episode is for you. We’re going to dig deep, get real, and hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll have some new insights into how you can start living a more balanced and fulfilling life.
So, grab a cup of tea, get comfortable, and let’s get into it. Trust me, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss.
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#122 Vulnerability
Hey there, it’s Karen Barno, and welcome to another episode of ‘She Leads Confidently’! Today, we’re going to take a deep dive into one of the most powerful and transformative topics I know – vulnerability. This episode is not just another talk about being open and honest; it’s a journey into my own life, the raw and real moments that have shaped who I am today, and how these experiences inspired me to write my latest book, “Blue Rose Bookstore: Sanctuary for Your Soul.”
When we talk about vulnerability, we’re often talking about the willingness to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. It’s about letting people see the real us, the flawed, imperfect, beautiful selves that we often hide away. But why do we hide? Why do we feel the need to present a curated version of ourselves to the world? For me, it all started in my childhood, where I faced numerous challenges and traumas that left deep scars. These experiences taught me to build walls, to protect myself from further hurt, but they also kept me from truly connecting with others and, more importantly, with myself.
Growing up, I had a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders, and I learned early on to be self-reliant. But this self-reliance came at a cost. I became so good at hiding my vulnerabilities that I forgot how to be open and honest with myself. I carried this guardedness into my adult life, through my career in the Air Force, and even as I became the CEO of an association. It wasn’t until a near-death accident that I started to confront my vulnerabilities head-on. This pivotal moment forced me to look at my life differently, to see the value in being vulnerable, and to understand that true strength comes from embracing our weaknesses and turning them into our greatest assets.
In today’s episode, I’m going to share some of the most personal stories from my own life – the moments that broke me and the moments that built me back up. You’ll hear about the time I was alone in the ER after an accident, the motorcycle crash that changed my perspective, and the countless times I’ve felt like giving up but found the strength to keep going. These stories are not just anecdotes; they’re lessons in resilience, courage, and the transformative power of vulnerability.
We’ll also talk about practical ways you can embrace vulnerability in your own life. I believe that everyone has a ‘Blue Rose’ within them – a unique gift or purpose that they are meant to share with the world. But often, this gift is hidden under layers of fear, doubt, and past traumas. By embracing vulnerability, we can peel back these layers and uncover our true selves. I’ll share tips on how to start this journey, from journaling and self-reflection to seeking support from a trusted friend or mentor.
One of the key messages I want to convey in this episode is that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It’s about being brave enough to be yourself, to show your true colors, and to live authentically. When we embrace vulnerability, we open ourselves up to deeper connections, greater creativity, and a more fulfilling life. We stop hiding behind masks and start living from a place of authenticity and power.
As we journey through this episode, I encourage you to think about your own experiences with vulnerability. What are the moments that have shaped you? What are the parts of yourself that you keep hidden? How can you start to embrace these parts and integrate them into your life? Remember, it’s a process, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.
Before we dive in, I want to remind you that you are not alone on this journey. There is a community of women out there who are also seeking to embrace their vulnerabilities and live their best lives. Join the conversation on social media using the hashtag #SheLeadsConfidently and share your own stories of vulnerability and strength. Let’s support each other and create a movement of empowered, authentic women leaders.
In this episode, we’ll cover:
- My personal journey with vulnerability and how it led to the creation of “Blue Rose Bookstore”
- The pivotal moments that forced me to confront my fears and embrace my true self
- Practical tips and strategies for embracing vulnerability in your own life
- How to use the ‘Find Your Blue Rose Workbook’ to uncover your true self
- Stories from other women who have transformed their lives through vulnerability
- The importance of community and support in the journey to self-discovery
So, grab a Diet Coke, cup of coffee, get comfortable, and join me for an honest and heartfelt conversation about vulnerability, transformation, and the power of the Blue Rose. Let’s dive in!
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