She Leads Confidently
#131 From Struggle to Strength
The Unexpected Power of Struggle
Life has a way of throwing challenges our way—some so intense that we wonder if we’ll ever rise from them. But what if these very struggles are the stepping stones to our greatest breakthroughs? What if the pain we’ve endured is actually preparing us for something greater? In this episode of She Leads Confidently, I dive into the transformational journey from struggle to strength and how our hardest moments are often the catalysts for profound growth.
I never expected that one chapter in a book would resonate so deeply with people. I’ve written three books, but it was my fourth—where I contributed a chapter titled “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose”—that unexpectedly ignited something in people. Messages poured in from readers who said they cried reading it. Friends who have known me for years told me it was the rawest they’d ever seen me. It was a moment of realization—our deepest truths have the power to change lives.
Why Our Struggles Hold the Key to Our Purpose
We often think of success as something we must chase, plan for, and execute flawlessly. But the truth is, many of our biggest moments of transformation come in unexpected places, through unexpected means.
I never expected my words to move people the way they did. But as I reflected, I realized something powerful:
✔ Struggle forces self-discovery. It strips away the noise and distractions, leaving only the raw truth of who we are. ✔ Pain can be a teacher. If we allow it, our hardest moments teach us resilience, strength, and clarity. ✔ True impact comes from authenticity. The more vulnerable and real we are, the more deeply we connect with others.
The Chapter That Changed Everything
When I wrote “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose,” I wasn’t thinking about bestseller lists or global recognition. I was simply sharing my story—the raw, unfiltered truth about my journey through pain and how I found my way to purpose.
I shared about the hardships I endured, the moments I felt completely lost, and the ways in which I rebuilt myself from the ground up. And something unexpected happened: people saw themselves in my story.
Emails started coming in. Women I had never met reached out to tell me that my words made them feel seen. Long-time friends told me that they had no idea what I had been through, and that my honesty moved them to tears. That’s when it hit me—our stories have the power to heal, not just ourselves, but others too.
When Success Finds You in Unexpected Places
The truth is, we can’t always predict how or when our breakthroughs will happen. Sometimes, they show up in the most random, unplanned moments.
- Maybe it’s a conversation with a stranger that shifts your entire perspective.
- Maybe it’s taking a leap of faith in a career move that feels uncertain but leads you exactly where you need to be.
- Maybe it’s sharing your truth when you least expect it—only to realize that your words have the power to change lives.
For me, success wasn’t in the numbers, rankings, or accolades. It was in the emails, the tears, the voices of people who finally felt understood. It was in knowing that my struggles weren’t for nothing—they were paving the way for others to step into their own transformation.
How You Can Turn Your Struggles Into Strength
Your pain does not define you. It refines you.
If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or weighed down by the struggles you’ve faced, here’s what I want you to know:
🔥 Your story matters. The things you’ve been through aren’t just random events—they are part of your greater purpose. 🔥 Someone out there needs to hear what you’ve been through. Just like my chapter resonated with people, your story could be the exact thing someone else needs to hear today. 🔥 Healing happens when we step into our truth.The moment we stop hiding, stop pretending, and start embracing our full journey, everything changes.
Find Your Blue Rose: A Movement of Transformation
This is exactly why I created Find Your Blue Rose—to help women step into their power, reclaim their purpose, and own their unique path in life. Your struggles are not your ending. They are the beginning of something greater.
So, I ask you: What if the pain you’ve endured is the foundation for your next breakthrough?
Call to Action: Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
I want to hear from you. What struggles have shaped your strength? What moments in your life, no matter how painful, have led you to where you are now?
💬 DM me on YouTube (@karenbarno) or joinmy Free Facebook Group: Find Your Blue Rose and share your story. 🎧 Subscribe to She Leads Confidently on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. 📖 Grab a copy of “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose” and let me know what resonates with you.
Remember: Your pain isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of something bigger.
Let’s rise together. 💙
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Epi #130 See It, Be It: Unlocking Your Most Powerful Self
🎙 Welcome to “Find Your Blue Rose,” the podcast that empowers women leaders over 45 to step into their full potential, reclaim their confidence, and manifest the life they were born to live!
Have you ever looked at someone living their best life, exuding confidence, success, and purpose, and thought, “I wish I could be like that”? What if I told you… you already ARE that woman? You just haven’t fully stepped into her yet.
In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into a transformative truth:
✨ If you can see it, you can be it. ✨
The Power of Perception & Belief
Everything you admire in others, every success that sparks something inside you, every moment that makes you say, “That’s the life I want”—it’s not just a random thought. It’s a recognition of your own potential.
Because here’s the truth: If you didn’t have that same power within you, you wouldn’t even notice it in someone else.
🦋 Your external reality is a mirror of your internal beliefs.
💡 What you admire is already in you—it just needs to be activated.
🔥 The only thing standing between you and your most powerful self is belief.
Why We Struggle to Believe We Are Already “Her”
If becoming your most powerful self is as simple as believing it… why do we make it so hard?
Because as humans, we’ve been conditioned to doubt ourselves. We’ve been told that confidence must be earned, that success requires struggle, that power is something we chase instead of something we already have.
We get stuck in self-doubt, thinking:
❌ “I need more experience before I can call myself a leader.”
❌ “I have to lose weight before I can feel confident.”
❌ “I need more money before I can live my dream life.”
❌ “I need validation from others before I can believe in myself.”
But here’s what I want you to take away from this episode:
➡ You don’t become powerful by achieving more—you become powerful by realizing YOU ALREADY ARE.
How to Manifest by Becoming a Vibrational Match to Your Dreams
Manifestation isn’t just wishing for something and hoping it magically appears. It’s about becoming the energetic match to what you desire—and that starts with seeing yourself as the woman who already has it.
When you believe at a soul level that you are the woman who leads powerfully, speaks with confidence, owns her space, and lives in abundance… the world rearranges itself to reflect that truth.
🌟 Want to attract more opportunities? Step into the energy of a woman who is already sought after.
🌟 Want to create a thriving business? Move like a CEO who already knows her success is inevitable.
🌟 Want to call in love? Embody the love and wholeness you desire before it arrives.
Practical Steps to Step Into Your Most Powerful Self Today
1. Identify the Women Who Inspire You
- Write down five women you deeply admire.
- Ask yourself: What qualities do they have that I wish I had?
- Now, flip the script: How am I already embodying those qualities in my own way?
2. Start Acting “As If” Today
- If you were already living your dream life, how would you show up today?
- How would you walk into a room? How would you speak? How would you dress?
- Start showing up AS HER now, not later.
3. Shift Your Internal Dialogue
- Replace “I wish I could be…” with “I AM…”
- Example: Instead of saying, “I wish I had confidence,” say, “I AM confident. I am stepping into my power every day.”
4. Tap into Your Heart’s Truth
- Spend 5 minutes daily visualizing yourself as your most powerful self.
- Feel it in your body, in your heart—what does it feel like to already be her?
- Hold that vibration, because once you can feel it, you can attract it.
Final Words: You Are Already Her—Claim It!
Women over 45, listen up: You are not behind. You are not too old. You are not lacking.
Everything you’ve been searching for is already inside you. You just have to believe it.
And when you do? That’s when the magic happens. That’s when doors open, confidence rises, and success flows. That’s when you stop chasing and start attracting.
Because you don’t become powerful—you remember that you already are.
🔥 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a woman who needs this reminder today! And if you’re ready to step into your most powerful self, join me inside the “Find Your Blue Rose” community. Let’s make your transformation real.
🎧 Subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and let’s rise together!
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Turning I Can’t into I Can!
In this episode, Turning ‘I Can’t’ Into ‘I Can’, Karen dives deep into the subconscious patterns and societal norms that hold women back. Drawing from her journey and hard-earned wisdom, she tackles the deeply ingrained belief that “I can’t” is an acceptable response to life’s challenges.
With her trademark blend of authenticity and empowerment, Karen unpacks how cultural conditioning, fear of failure, and the comfort of the status quo create barriers to success. She provides actionable strategies for breaking free of these limitations and living boldly in the truth of who you are meant to be.
This episode is a rallying cry for women to stop playing small, embrace their unique brilliance, and rewrite their narratives with power, joy, and purpose. Karen’s mantra is simple but transformative: Stop saying “I can’t” and start saying “I am becoming.”
Why ‘I Can’t’ Becomes Our Default:
Karen begins by exploring why the phrase “I can’t” is so deeply rooted in our lives. From early childhood, cultural conditioning teaches girls to be sweet, nurturing, and selfless—traits often valued at the expense of confidence, ambition, and self-expression.
She highlights how these messages are reinforced through subtle cues in schools, media, and societal expectations. Statements like “don’t be too loud,” “play nice,” or “that’s not for girls” chip away at confidence, leaving many women doubting their abilities and shrinking from opportunities.
Karen shares poignant personal anecdotes, such as her struggles with self-doubt in professional meetings and the internal battle of second-guessing her assertiveness. These moments reveal the universal tension women face when stepping into their power in spaces that historically haven’t welcomed it.
The Role of Fear and Comfort Zones:
Karen reveals that beyond cultural influences, fear of failure often keeps women stuck in the “I can’t” mindset. Whether it’s starting a business, pursuing a promotion, or transforming health, the fear of judgment, rejection, or “getting it wrong” becomes a powerful deterrent.
For Karen, writing her book, Blue Rose Bookstore: Sanctuary for Your Soul, was a testament to overcoming this fear. She opens up about the self-doubt that plagued her throughout the process, sharing how the fear of people questioning her worth or dismissing her work nearly stopped her from finishing the project.
She explains how comfort zones, though safe and familiar, also keep women stagnant. It’s easier to say “I can’t” than to confront the vulnerability of being seen, especially for those who have hidden behind insecurities like weight or lack of confidence.
The Impact of ‘I Can’t’:
Karen emphasizes that the habit of saying “I can’t” has a lasting impact on personal growth and happiness. It limits potential, reinforces a negative self-image, and traps women in a cycle of excuses that keep them from achieving their goals.
Drawing from her journey of losing 80 pounds and stepping into a leadership role, Karen describes how embracing the possibility of “I can” shifted her entire perspective. Instead of hiding behind her “loser limp”—the weight she once used as an excuse to avoid being seen—she began celebrating her wins and pushing past limitations.
Three Steps to Overcome ‘I Can’t’:
Karen provides a powerful, practical framework for eliminating “I can’t” from your vocabulary and replacing it with a mindset of possibility:
1. Rewrite Your Script:
Replace every instance of “I can’t” with “I can because I’m willing to try.” This small shift rewires your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations. By reframing challenges as opportunities to grow, you’ll begin to see the potential for success everywhere.
2. Take Micro-Steps:
Big goals can feel overwhelming, so break them into smaller, actionable steps. Instead of focusing on losing 100 pounds, Karen started with the goal of dropping one clothing size. These micro-wins build momentum and make progress feel attainable.
3. Celebrate Every Win:
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Karen keeps a “positivity file” where she records every achievement. When doubts creep in, she revisits this file to remind herself of her growth and resilience.
A Call to Action:
Karen challenges listeners to embrace 2025 as the year they stop saying “I can’t” and start becoming the women they are destined to be. She encourages setting intentional goals, even if they evolve, and using setbacks as stepping stones for transformation.
Sharing her example of setting and surpassing goals—like quitting drinking in January 2023 and losing 80 pounds—Karen demonstrates how each step forward brings you closer to the life you envision.
Finding Your Blue Rose:
Karen’s mission is to inspire women to discover their unique “Blue Rose”—the passion, purpose, and joy that define their best lives. She reminds listeners that life is an adventure meant to be lived fully and authentically.
Her empowering mantra, “I am becoming,” serves as a guiding principle for anyone ready to let go of excuses and step into their power. As Karen puts it, “When I look back at my life, I want to say I drank from the goblets of the gods. I lived full-on, gave 100%, and found my Blue Rose.”
Why This Episode Matters:
Karen’s episode on turning “I can’t” into “I can” is a deeply resonant reminder that words shape our reality. By choosing language that empowers rather than limits, women can break free from self-doubt, cultural conditioning, and fear to create a life of bold, unapologetic confidence.
This episode is not just about personal transformation; it’s about inspiring a movement of women leaders who lift each other up, share their truths, and lead confidently in every aspect of life.
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