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Turning I Can’t into I Can!

by | Jan 19, 2025 | Podcast | 0 comments

Welcome to She Leads Confidently, the podcast for ambitious, fearless women ready to turn their doubts into triumphs and their “I can’t” into “I can.” Hosted by Karen Barno—visionary leader, author, and transformational coach—this show is your go-to masterclass for embracing your inner power, smashing through cultural conditioning, and living a life of boldness, confidence, and fulfillment.

In this episode, Turning ‘I Can’t’ Into ‘I Can’, Karen dives deep into the subconscious patterns and societal norms that hold women back. Drawing from her journey and hard-earned wisdom, she tackles the deeply ingrained belief that “I can’t” is an acceptable response to life’s challenges.

With her trademark blend of authenticity and empowerment, Karen unpacks how cultural conditioning, fear of failure, and the comfort of the status quo create barriers to success. She provides actionable strategies for breaking free of these limitations and living boldly in the truth of who you are meant to be.

This episode is a rallying cry for women to stop playing small, embrace their unique brilliance, and rewrite their narratives with power, joy, and purpose. Karen’s mantra is simple but transformative: Stop saying “I can’t” and start saying “I am becoming.”

Why ‘I Can’t’ Becomes Our Default:

Karen begins by exploring why the phrase “I can’t” is so deeply rooted in our lives. From early childhood, cultural conditioning teaches girls to be sweet, nurturing, and selfless—traits often valued at the expense of confidence, ambition, and self-expression.

She highlights how these messages are reinforced through subtle cues in schools, media, and societal expectations. Statements like “don’t be too loud,” “play nice,” or “that’s not for girls” chip away at confidence, leaving many women doubting their abilities and shrinking from opportunities.

Karen shares poignant personal anecdotes, such as her struggles with self-doubt in professional meetings and the internal battle of second-guessing her assertiveness. These moments reveal the universal tension women face when stepping into their power in spaces that historically haven’t welcomed it.

The Role of Fear and Comfort Zones:

Karen reveals that beyond cultural influences, fear of failure often keeps women stuck in the “I can’t” mindset. Whether it’s starting a business, pursuing a promotion, or transforming health, the fear of judgment, rejection, or “getting it wrong” becomes a powerful deterrent.

For Karen, writing her book, Blue Rose Bookstore: Sanctuary for Your Soul, was a testament to overcoming this fear. She opens up about the self-doubt that plagued her throughout the process, sharing how the fear of people questioning her worth or dismissing her work nearly stopped her from finishing the project.

She explains how comfort zones, though safe and familiar, also keep women stagnant. It’s easier to say “I can’t” than to confront the vulnerability of being seen, especially for those who have hidden behind insecurities like weight or lack of confidence.

The Impact of ‘I Can’t’:

Karen emphasizes that the habit of saying “I can’t” has a lasting impact on personal growth and happiness. It limits potential, reinforces a negative self-image, and traps women in a cycle of excuses that keep them from achieving their goals.

Drawing from her journey of losing 80 pounds and stepping into a leadership role, Karen describes how embracing the possibility of “I can” shifted her entire perspective. Instead of hiding behind her “loser limp”—the weight she once used as an excuse to avoid being seen—she began celebrating her wins and pushing past limitations.

Three Steps to Overcome ‘I Can’t’:

Karen provides a powerful, practical framework for eliminating “I can’t” from your vocabulary and replacing it with a mindset of possibility:

1. Rewrite Your Script:

Replace every instance of “I can’t” with “I can because I’m willing to try.” This small shift rewires your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations. By reframing challenges as opportunities to grow, you’ll begin to see the potential for success everywhere.

2. Take Micro-Steps:

Big goals can feel overwhelming, so break them into smaller, actionable steps. Instead of focusing on losing 100 pounds, Karen started with the goal of dropping one clothing size. These micro-wins build momentum and make progress feel attainable.

3. Celebrate Every Win:

Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Karen keeps a “positivity file” where she records every achievement. When doubts creep in, she revisits this file to remind herself of her growth and resilience.

A Call to Action:

Karen challenges listeners to embrace 2025 as the year they stop saying “I can’t” and start becoming the women they are destined to be. She encourages setting intentional goals, even if they evolve, and using setbacks as stepping stones for transformation.

Sharing her example of setting and surpassing goals—like quitting drinking in January 2023 and losing 80 pounds—Karen demonstrates how each step forward brings you closer to the life you envision.

Finding Your Blue Rose:

Karen’s mission is to inspire women to discover their unique “Blue Rose”—the passion, purpose, and joy that define their best lives. She reminds listeners that life is an adventure meant to be lived fully and authentically.

Her empowering mantra, “I am becoming,” serves as a guiding principle for anyone ready to let go of excuses and step into their power. As Karen puts it, “When I look back at my life, I want to say I drank from the goblets of the gods. I lived full-on, gave 100%, and found my Blue Rose.”

Why This Episode Matters:

Karen’s episode on turning “I can’t” into “I can” is a deeply resonant reminder that words shape our reality. By choosing language that empowers rather than limits, women can break free from self-doubt, cultural conditioning, and fear to create a life of bold, unapologetic confidence.

This episode is not just about personal transformation; it’s about inspiring a movement of women leaders who lift each other up, share their truths, and lead confidently in every aspect of life.

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