She Leads Confidently
Your Blue Rose is Hidden In Your Shadow
The Hard Truth About Leadership: Why You Haven’t Stepped Fully Into Your Power Yet
Do you ever feel like you’re standing on the edge of greatness, only to stop yourself from taking that final step? You’ve put in the work, you have the vision, the passion, and the purpose, yet something holds you back. No matter how hard you try, something invisible keeps you from reaching 100% of your dreams—not just 80%, not 70%, but all of them.
In this episode of She Leads Confidently, I uncover the hidden barriers that keep powerful women from stepping fully into their calling. I’m talking about the deep, often unrecognized forces that block you from taking the leap—whether it’s applying for that big promotion, speaking up in the boardroom, or even attending the event that could change your life.
If you’ve ever hesitated because you don’t feel good enough, don’t feel worthy enough, or don’t think you belong, this episode is for you.
Your Greatest Power is Locked Behind Your Shadows
That invisible force stopping you? It’s your shadows.
Shadows are the hidden parts of ourselves—the beliefs, fears, and wounds buried deep within us. They whisper:
“You’re not good enough.”
“Who are you to dream that big?”
“You’re going to fail, so why even try?”
These whispers come from a lifetime of conditioning—messages from parents, teachers, bosses, and even society telling us to play small.
💬 “When I told my parents I wanted to go to college, they told me, ‘No, we can get you a job as a secretary at the steel mill.’”
Their belief was that playing it safe was the best option. That belief became a shadow—one that told me that being me wasn’t safe and that I wasn’t good enough for more.
But here’s the truth:
Your Blue Rose—your calling, passion, and purpose—is locked behind those shadows.
Until you confront them, you will keep sabotaging your success, shrinking in meetings, doubting your abilities, and hesitating to take bold action.
How Shadows Keep You Stuck in Leadership & Life
I’ve seen it again and again—powerful women, accomplished women, leaders sitting at the boardroom table, holding back.
A woman raises her hand, only to drop it when she notices someone giving her a side-eye.
She has an idea but hesitates to speak because she’s afraid it’s not smart enough.
She’s invited to an opportunity but finds a reason not to go because deep down, she doesn’t feel worthy.
I know this pattern because I lived it for years.
Every time I got close to success, I sabotaged myself.
I would start acting goofy when I got too close to being taken seriously.
I would drink the night before a big event so I was too hungover to show up.
I would almost step into my full power—then pull back.
I told myself stories: “I’m just not that kind of person. I don’t belong there. I’m not ready.”
But the truth was that I was terrified of my own power.
Because when you step fully into your power, you become visible. And visibility means risk—risk of judgment, risk of failure, risk of rejection.
So I played almost big—just successful enough to be comfortable but never truly stepping into my highest self.
What Happens When You Don’t Face Your Shadows?
If you keep avoiding your shadows, you will find yourself stuck in the ‘almost’ loop:
✔ Almost applying for that high-level job
✔ Almost launching that business or program
✔ Almost stepping up as a leader in your industry
✔ Almost feeling fully confident in yourself
And then one day, you’ll wake up at 50, 60, or 70 years old and realize you never went all in.
If you want to see what regret looks like, visit a senior living community.
You’ll hear women say:
“I wish I would have traveled more.”
“I wish I would have left that job sooner.”
“I wish I would have followed my dreams.”
💥 I don’t want that to be you.
You have the power to change your story right now.
How to Heal Your Shadows & Step Into Your Power
So how do you break free?
It starts with understanding what’s holding you back and choosing to face it head-on.
Here’s how:
1️⃣ Identify Your Fear
What keeps stopping you?
Fear of failure?
Fear of success?
Fear of being seen?
Fear of making a mistake?
Fear of judgment?
Ask yourself: Where does this fear come from?
Shadows are often rooted in childhood trauma, old conditioning, or past wounds. The first step to healing is recognizing what’s truly running the show.
2️⃣ Meet Your Fear with Curiosity
Instead of pushing your fear away, get curious about it.
Ask yourself:
💭 “If I believe I’m not smart enough, why?”
💭 “If I believe I’m not good enough, why?”
Fear is like a stack of boxes with your Blue Rose buried inside. You have to unpack them one by one to find the truth.
3️⃣ Recognize That It Was Never About You
What if the things you were told were never true?
💡 The truth is, people project their own shadows onto you.
💡 The people who told you to play small were only repeating the limits they believed about themselves.
Once you see that, you can let go of those beliefs.
4️⃣ Rewrite the Story & Take Aligned Action
You don’t heal shadows by thinking about them. You heal them by acting in spite of them.
👉 If your shadow says “You’re not ready,” take the step anyway.
👉 If your shadow says “You’re not good enough,” challenge it—where’s the proof?
👉 If your shadow says “You’re going to fail,” remind yourself—failure is a stepping stone, not a stop sign.
Every time you step through a shadow, you reclaim another piece of your power.
Are You Ready to Step Into Your Blue Rose?
Imagine yourself:
🔥 Speaking up with confidence in every room you enter.
🔥 Owning your power without hesitation.
🔥 Leading without fear, knowing you belong exactly where you are.
That version of you already exists.
The only thing in the way? The shadows you haven’t healed yet.
💬 So, what shadow are YOU ready to face? Comment below.
💎 If you’re ready for deep work, book my 2-hour intuitive listening session.
🚀 And in April, my Become Your Most Powerful Self course will walk you step-by-step through unlocking your greatness and finding your Blue Rose.
🔔 Like, subscribe, and share this with other women who need to hear this.
Let’s get to work and heal these shadows so you can finally step into 100% of your power.
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#132 Hard Truth about Leadership
Welcome to She Leads Confidently, the podcast designed for fearless women leaders ready to step into their power, own their success, and transform their leadership journey. In this episode, Karen Barnor gets real about the hard truths of leadership—especially for women.
Leadership is often glorified as an exciting and fulfilling journey, but few talk about the sacrifices, emotional toll, and tough decisions that come with it. From balancing career and family to making high-stakes decisions, Karen shares her raw, unfiltered experiences as a CEO, entrepreneur, and mentor to women leaders.
If you’re a woman in leadership, an aspiring entrepreneur, or someone navigating the difficult realities of executive roles, this episode is for you.
Key Topics Covered in This Episode:
1. The Hidden Challenges of Leadership
Why leadership isn’t just about vision and influence—it’s also about making the hard calls.
The loneliness of leadership—when no one understands the pressures you carry.
How male and female leaders experience leadership differently.
The emotional toll of being responsible for decisions that impact teams, businesses, and industries.
2. The “Glamorous” Illusion of Leadership vs. Reality
Leadership isn’t just about fancy dinners, travel, and networking.
The reality of late nights, financial stress, and endless decision-making.
What people don’t see behind the success—the sacrifices, failures, and stress.
3. The Emotional Cost of Being a Woman Leader
Mom guilt and family sacrifices—missing key moments for work.
How women leaders face higher expectations and harsher criticism than men.
Dealing with imposter syndrome and self-doubt, even as a CEO.
Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care to prevent burnout.
4. Real Stories of Leadership Grit
Karen’s journey from zero leadership experience to becoming the CEO of Arizona ALFA.
The financial risks of starting an organization with only $2,000 in the bank.
How to trust yourself when taking a leap of faith into leadership.
The moment of crisis—bouncing a $15,000 check and fixing it within days.
5. Women Supporting Women – Why Community Matters
Why women leaders must lift each other up, not compete.
The power of mentorship and having a support system in leadership.
Building resilience and refusing to shrink when underestimated.
Finding your tribe—women who understand your journey and offer support.
6. Overcoming Burnout and Leadership Fatigue
Why many women leaders are stepping down earlier than men.
The physical and emotional exhaustion that comes from always being “on.”
How Karen quit drinking and took control of her mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
The importance of leading from strength, not exhaustion.
Why You Need to Listen to This Episode
If you’re a woman in leadership: You’ll find validation, support, and practical advice.
If you’re aspiring to lead: This episode will prepare you for the real challenges of leadership.
If you feel burnt out: Karen’s insights will help you reassess, reset, and reclaim your power.
If you want to build resilience: Learn how to make tough decisions, set boundaries, and stay confident.
This episode is your wake-up call to lead with power, own your decisions, and stop trying to be everything to everyone.
#WomenInLeadership #SheLeadsConfidently #WomenEntrepreneurs #CEOJourney #LeadershipTruths #FearlessLeadership #WomenSupportingWomen #BossMindset #ExecutiveWomen #ResilientLeadership #LeadershipPodcast #MindsetMatters #FindYourBlueRose #PowerfulWomen #HighAchievers #SuccessMindset #LeadershipLessons #WorkLifeBalance #CEOSecrets #EmpoweredWomenEmpowerWomen
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#131 From Struggle to Strength
The Unexpected Power of Struggle
Life has a way of throwing challenges our way—some so intense that we wonder if we’ll ever rise from them. But what if these very struggles are the stepping stones to our greatest breakthroughs? What if the pain we’ve endured is actually preparing us for something greater? In this episode of She Leads Confidently, I dive into the transformational journey from struggle to strength and how our hardest moments are often the catalysts for profound growth.
I never expected that one chapter in a book would resonate so deeply with people. I’ve written three books, but it was my fourth—where I contributed a chapter titled “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose”—that unexpectedly ignited something in people. Messages poured in from readers who said they cried reading it. Friends who have known me for years told me it was the rawest they’d ever seen me. It was a moment of realization—our deepest truths have the power to change lives.
Why Our Struggles Hold the Key to Our Purpose
We often think of success as something we must chase, plan for, and execute flawlessly. But the truth is, many of our biggest moments of transformation come in unexpected places, through unexpected means.
I never expected my words to move people the way they did. But as I reflected, I realized something powerful:
✔ Struggle forces self-discovery. It strips away the noise and distractions, leaving only the raw truth of who we are. ✔ Pain can be a teacher. If we allow it, our hardest moments teach us resilience, strength, and clarity. ✔ True impact comes from authenticity. The more vulnerable and real we are, the more deeply we connect with others.
The Chapter That Changed Everything
When I wrote “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose,” I wasn’t thinking about bestseller lists or global recognition. I was simply sharing my story—the raw, unfiltered truth about my journey through pain and how I found my way to purpose.
I shared about the hardships I endured, the moments I felt completely lost, and the ways in which I rebuilt myself from the ground up. And something unexpected happened: people saw themselves in my story.
Emails started coming in. Women I had never met reached out to tell me that my words made them feel seen. Long-time friends told me that they had no idea what I had been through, and that my honesty moved them to tears. That’s when it hit me—our stories have the power to heal, not just ourselves, but others too.
When Success Finds You in Unexpected Places
The truth is, we can’t always predict how or when our breakthroughs will happen. Sometimes, they show up in the most random, unplanned moments.
- Maybe it’s a conversation with a stranger that shifts your entire perspective.
- Maybe it’s taking a leap of faith in a career move that feels uncertain but leads you exactly where you need to be.
- Maybe it’s sharing your truth when you least expect it—only to realize that your words have the power to change lives.
For me, success wasn’t in the numbers, rankings, or accolades. It was in the emails, the tears, the voices of people who finally felt understood. It was in knowing that my struggles weren’t for nothing—they were paving the way for others to step into their own transformation.
How You Can Turn Your Struggles Into Strength
Your pain does not define you. It refines you.
If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or weighed down by the struggles you’ve faced, here’s what I want you to know:
🔥 Your story matters. The things you’ve been through aren’t just random events—they are part of your greater purpose. 🔥 Someone out there needs to hear what you’ve been through. Just like my chapter resonated with people, your story could be the exact thing someone else needs to hear today. 🔥 Healing happens when we step into our truth.The moment we stop hiding, stop pretending, and start embracing our full journey, everything changes.
Find Your Blue Rose: A Movement of Transformation
This is exactly why I created Find Your Blue Rose—to help women step into their power, reclaim their purpose, and own their unique path in life. Your struggles are not your ending. They are the beginning of something greater.
So, I ask you: What if the pain you’ve endured is the foundation for your next breakthrough?
Call to Action: Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
I want to hear from you. What struggles have shaped your strength? What moments in your life, no matter how painful, have led you to where you are now?
💬 DM me on YouTube (@karenbarno) or joinmy Free Facebook Group: Find Your Blue Rose and share your story. 🎧 Subscribe to She Leads Confidently on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. 📖 Grab a copy of “Transforming Your Pain into Purpose” and let me know what resonates with you.
Remember: Your pain isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of something bigger.
Let’s rise together. 💙
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